The Results Are In

Dear Mom,

As I hoped to say in my last post: I'm just fine. At least Dr. S thinks so; I am having a pelvic ultrasound a week from today to get a better picture just to be sure, but she's almost positive that it's some lingering bacteria from one of my wonderful past yeast infections that is causing my bladder to spasm (hence the pressure feeling off and on). I should get a call by Wednesday to verify that much at least. I feel better now-- physically and mentally-- so that's a huge relief.

Gisele couldn't make the appointment with me because her father-in-law passed away last week. Of course I was bummed and extra nervous going alone, but I know her husband needed her and that was where she needed to be. I, of all people, can understand that. In a way, it worked out really, because after the examanation Dr. S pulled up a seat and chatted with me; I mean really chatted with me.

She's not one of those cold, intimidating doctors, which is why you knew I'd love her. She's in her 40s now (and just had another baby too after trying for seven years!). She's still blonde, super thin, and absolutely beautiful. She looks intimidating, but once she opens her mouth and the sweetest tone comes out, I'm always instantly at ease. We talked about Belize, my grieving improvements, and my excellent support system. I even told her about my blog (and Carly, Nancy, Tina, Teresa, Dee, Chez, Stacey, etc.!). She's really proud of me and made sure to tell me so. I was shocked. Her? A doctor? Proud of me? I felt pretty special.

At the end of our conversation, she mentioned doing a CA-125 test on me each summer when I go in for my annual check-up. She thinks it would help me to physically see that I have a low, cancerless number (hopefully... I mean, you never know what's secretly brewing down there... sorry for the bad/gross choice of words, but you get what I mean). I've always thought about this, but never thought it would actually be a reality to have the test done. Although I was hesitant, now I'm kind of excited.

Best case scenerio: it stays low forever; Worst case scenerio: it goes up, and we catch it almost immediately. Sometimes the number can spike because of an infection or something and give false, inflated results, but I think that's the only downside really. And maybe the cost too. Does it cost a lot to get that done even if a doctor requests that you do it? I don't know. Will I start to live for that number like you eventually did? I hope not. If you had this done 5 years sooner could they have done something when your CA-125 was 140 instead of 1,400? Something tells me yes, and that this could be something that could someday save my life.

I miss you and your good advice; I could really use a large dose of both right about now. But regardless, today, I'm just fine, and that's surely something to celebrate!

Love,
Sami