August 30, 2010

Whether It's Wrong Or... Write

Dear Mom,

I thought writing this blog would be difficult, but I'm surprised at how natural it feels to just let my guard down and type. The hard part has actually been mustering up the courage to share it with people. I have always been a bit too critical of myself when it comes to my writing even though I often hear nothing but praise-- and I'm glad to say that this time it is different. I actually find myself rereading my previous posts and being slightly shocked that I even wrote them! I have been writing from so deep within my heart and finally letting out what has been eating at me for so long that it's impossible for me to find flaws (for once). But what if someone else does? That is my only hesitation and insecurity. I worry that, as good as it feels to open up and be vulnerable, it will be equally as overwhelming for someone else to read (especially anyone I met after you passed because they don't exactly know this side of me in such descriptive detail). Or what if the Hospice lady gets wind of what I really think about her?! Woops. No turning back now!

Something I have always struggled with is caring way too much about what people think about me and what I say or do, and I finally need to do something about it. So, I'm giving the few people I have sent this link to complete permission to share it with anyone that will enjoy or benefit from reading this. Here's to my biggest attempt at being carefree, not apologizing for the way I feel, and continuing to move forward.


No comments:

Post a Comment